posted 9:18:53 AM on 12/17/2009
Over the years of working with Macs, I've often seen cases where a machine will fail to boot past the initial gray loading screen. Occasionally, this issue is easily fixed by booting from a 10.x installer disc and fixing permissions on the boot drive.
..but more often than not, it's not a permissions issue that's stopping the system from booting, and trying to verify or repair the filesystem on the drive will fail before it even attempts to fix it.
This isn't even a huge deal if your data is backed up, or unimportant.. just reformat the disk and do a fresh install of OSX. This wasn't the case this week when it happened again. One of the users I support had important data on the drive, and I knew I wouldn't feel right unless I explored every option for retrieving it.
My first thought was that the drive did not have physical damage, and that since it was likely logical damage to the filesysem, that something other than OSX might be able to read it. Since it has the most active community of all Linux distros, I decided that Ubuntu would be my choice. It turned out to be a good idea. (Note that I had access to a second, working Mac and some of these steps might be easier with a spare machine)
First, the Ubuntu LiveCD (version 9.05) booted with no issues on the eMac, and the HFS+ formatted hard drive mounted with no issues at all. I could see that all the files on the disk were readable except for the ones I didn't have permission for(the user's home folder for instance-which is exactly what I wanted to save). Linux can't write to an HFS+ volume without Journaling being turned off, and I couldn't turn journaling off without being able to mount the disk in OSX(which I couldn't - even in target disk mode), so I couldn't take ownership of the folder.
My second thought was to copy the data to an external drive.
The first step was to prepare the root user for use in ubuntu(by default the root user does not have a password and you cannot switch to it). So, we have to set a password..
sudo passwd root (you'll be prompted to enter a new password, and then to verify it)
Now that you can use the root account, su root.
You can now copy those files that you don't have permission to with sudo cp -R 'media/.....' 'media/....' (to make this quicker, Ubuntu allows you to drag folders to the terminal window in order to paste their paths).
This was a good solution in theory but my external disk was based on the FAT filesystem and many of the user's files contained bad characters. Being that I didn't have write access to the original disk, I couldn't run a regex to rename them. If the files you're rescuing don't have those characters, you should be good to go. Mount the external drive on a mac and you should have full access to all of those files.
If you are in my position, you'll want to download and install macFuse and fuse-ext2 on a working mac. You can then format the external drive as "fuse-ext2" via Disk Utility. (alternatively, just use gParted on the Ubuntu machine to create an ext2 partition-I prefer to do it from another mac so I can verify that it will mount before wiping out the original/bad drive.. if you only have the one machine, you have to take a leap of faith).
Back on the Ubuntu machine, your external drive will mount without issues as an ext2 filesystem. Run the cp command again and all your files should copy over without any "Cannot create directory" or "Cannot create regular file" errors.
You can then mount this drive on the mac that you installed fuse on.. or boot the original mac from an OSX system disc, do a format/clean install, install fuse and then mount it.
From here it's just a matter of dragging the files where you need them to go. Good luck!
posted 10:48:57 AM on 11/5/2009
Anyone who is into PC gaming chooses that platform over a console for several reasons. Better graphics, deeper games, cheaper prices, and the ability to customize are some of the biggest of these reasons, among others.
With next week's release of Modern Warfare 2, developer Infinity Ward and their corporate overlords at Activision will launch the first salvo in an all-out war against PC gamers -without which the Call of Duty series never would have lifted off the ground. They have chosen to go the quick-and-easy route in making the PC version of their game nothing more than a console port. In fact, they've even left out features which could have practically been copy-and-pasted from 2007's Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
The first issue that arose was Activision's decision to arbitrarily raise the price of the PC version to $59.99 in order to match the console versions pricing. A console gamer may look at this and dismiss it because they don't see a reason for the PC version to be less expensive. They would be wrong, of course, since publishers don't have to pay licensing fees to release their games on the PC. In addition to this pricing change, they nixed any and all special versions of the game which include extravagant pack-ins such as a pair of night-vision goggles. Fans wanting to own these items will have to purchase a copy of the game on Xbox-360 or PS3.
The price increase would prove to be just the first point of contention between Infinity Ward and their fans. News soon came from IW's Robert Bowling that dedicated servers would not be supported in the PC version. That's right.. a CORE component of online PC gaming would be replaced with an inferior "matchmaking" system which will surely provide unfair pings to host players and cause countless dropped games and generally disappointing gameplay. Leading up to the release of the original Modern Warfare, Infinity Ward bragged that their PC version would support "as many players as your server can handle".. flash forward two years and we're relegated to a maximum of 18 player matches. Utter crap. The reasoning here is fighting piracy and cheaters. That's bullshit and here's why: MW1 did a great, if not perfect, job of checking CD keys during online play and PunkBuster kept the cheaters away just fine. In fact, the excellent multiplayer modes of the first title were the reason many pirates later decided to buy an actual copy of the game. The bottom line here is that someone, be it IW or Activision, wants to control which maps you play on- which means they get to sell them to you later on.
But Wait! There's more! Now Infinity Ward has revealed that there will be no in game console, either. This means no debug modes to play around in, no values to tweak. No changing field of vision, or all the other little tricks that PC gamers are so acustomed to. This one is attributed to the developers desire for people to play the game as they "intended".
Now the game is a week away from launch and IW has downplayed the significance of a huge online petition. It's clear they are unphased by our reactions to this, and some irresponsible members of the media such as Destructoid's Jim Sterling have even suggested our complaints are nothing more than collective whining. You're right Jim, we should be on our knees for Infinity Ward and we should happily pay MORE money for LESS content so they can charge us even more later. As consumers, we're certainly not entitled to our own opinion on a product.
In closing, I want to say that Infinity Ward is making a grave mistake, but sadly I can't. The 360 and PS3 versions of the game have already been dubbed as the "most preordered game ever" and they will have the #1 and #2 SKUS on the sales charts even if they don't sell a single copy of the PC game. Ultimately what we'll likely see is low sales for only the PC version, which Activision will blame on piracy as opposed to the fact that they doomed this game on their own.
The only thing we can do as a community then, is to boycott this game. As previously mentioned, this will make little difference in the perceived success of this title- but at least we can save our hard earned money to reward a developer who gives a shit.
Bottom line: I never thought I would live in a world where EA wasn't the most evil publisher on the planet, but Activision has taken this art to a whole new level with the greed that they are exhibiting across their entire lineup. They are moving their games backwards feature-wise, releasing clones of games just weeks apart, packing in crappy plastic controllers to bump up prices, and just generally acting like remorseless dicks just to make a few extra bucks.
Eventually the public will wise up and stop eating the crap they're feeding us. Sluggish initial sales of "DJ Hero" may be the first indication that this will happen sooner rather than later. We can only hope.
posted 9:05:36 AM on 11/2/2009
Even before my girlfriend and I met, she's been dealing with a constant coolant leak in her car. Being that she doesn't know the first thing about them, she assumed it was a huge problem that would cost thousands of dollars to address and decided to just continue adding coolant every few days. Turns out, this coolant leak is a very common issue on the Ford Focus, and while she was quoted $500 for a repair, it wasn't too difficult for me to do for her in my own garage.
The main reason I'm writing this up is to clarify a few points on the great writeup I used as a basis for going about the job. Hopefully Google will index this page and it will be helpful for those later searching for tips.
First, you'll want to read over the writeup here: Replacing the thermostat and/or thermostat housing (Ford Focus). Parts were easily obtained by contacting Steve of Tousley Ford on the FocalJet Forums. His username there is "FORDSVTPARTS". Of course you also have the option of ordering the parts from your local dealer, though they may charge a bit more.
•Your coolant draincock may vary from the one pictured. In her car it was a black plastic screw with no way to attach a hose. Be careful as you turn the screw: it will go from a slight dribble to a powerful spray in a moment's notice! I ended up with a face and mouth full of coolant when it sprayed out unexpectedly.
•In step 8, the rear hose is a real P.I.T.A. to remove. I can't believe the author of the how-to didn't expand on that,.. but seriously.. it sucks! I used a combination of 2 different pairs of pliers, a vice grip, and 2 different length screwdrivers to remove it. After much failure at trying to simply squeeze the clip(due to it's position facing towards the battery), I changed my strategy: I used the screw drivers to pry up the tabbed side of the clip and spun it around to a better position. *Then* I was able to grab it with pliers and remove it. In order to give myself some more flexibility to move and angle the housing while I worked, I temporarily disconnected the bottom-most hose from the radiator side *first*.
•Putting everything back together is much easier.. you have better access to the clips to position them how you want. Obviously you'll want to spin them around to the tops of the hoses before you attach them to the new thermostat housing.
All in all, this took a couple hours and a few small cuts but it wasn't too difficult at all. Instead of a $500 repair bill, my girlfriend made out at about $100 including the parts($55), new antifreeze($9), and a nice steak dinner for me. Everybody wins.
posted 11:31:58 AM on 10/20/2009
Up until last night, I'd never ever cooked ribs. Searching the internet, I found so many different ways to cook them, and most of the recipes seemed to take up to 3 hours. I had to cook them relatively fast though, so after a bunch of research I gave it a shot and I'm happy to say this worked and tasted EXCELLENT.
So here's what you do(keep in mind I'm no cook.. just an average guy who knows what he likes):
1. Boil your ribs for about 30-40 minutes. I used a little bit of salt and pepper in the water. Since I was only doing a half rack, I was able to fit them into a normal pot. I suppose for larger quantities you could cut the racks in half or use seperate pots.
2. Remove the ribs from the water and season to taste. Again, I went with salt and pepper. After a few minutes, I covered them generously in BBQ sauce.
At this point my girlfriend and I went for a quick jog and the ribs sat out. This probably has no effect on how they turn out so you can probably go right to the grill.
3. Fire up the grill and let them cook directly over the flame for 20 minutes or so. Flip once or twice. You'll know they're ready when the BBQ sauce starts to cook.. this gives them a nice slightly crispy texture on the outside. Be careful: as my ribs cooked, either the grease or the BBQ sauce was dripping down and catching on fire. Not a huge deal, just be aware that it might happen.
That's it! Delicious fall-off-the-bone BBQ ribs in about an hour!
posted 11:47:54 AM on 8/6/2009

I wonder if it transforms into a car that's not a piece of shit.
posted 11:34:19 AM on 8/6/2009
I haven't updated on the house much lately. The delay in receiving my security deposit back from my old landlord had all but stalled my work. The fridge that was left at the house turned out to not work so well, and after getting some sour milk well before the expiration date, I deiceed to scrap it for something new.
Yesterday upon getting home from work I had a letter from my landlord containing my deposit. I only got back half of what I expected, and yes, I'm pissed.. but being that this was my first apartment, I didn't keep records or evidence well enough to dispute the deductions. Oh well.. live and learn. At least I got back a sizable chunk without having to go to court, missing work, all that hassle.
So, with check in hand(actually in the bank), I headed over to Lowe's to see what I could get in a fridge. I figured buying a new one was the way to go - the old one in the house was an off brand and I don't have any way of knowing how old it is.. so even spending a couple hundred to have it fixed could turn out to be a very temporary solution.
The fridge I chose was a Frigidaire in silver/black. Like my stove, it attempts to look like stainless steel, and in my opinion, does a pretty decent job considering the cost difference. At least everything is on it's way to matching.. as soon as I eliminate the horrid pink tile on my walls.

There's not much of interest to say about the fridge... it's pretty standard... freezer on top(no room for double doors in a Philly rowhome), 18cu. feet(exisiting fridge is only 14, so this is an upgrade). Optional icemaker - not interested as I'm not a fan of ice.
I got a killer deal on it at Lowe's - free shipping and haul away without any rebates(rare!) and combined with a 10% off coupon I received when I changed my address with the USPS. The total cost - after tax and delivery - was $20 less than the price on the ticket.
posted 9:17:02 AM on 8/5/2009
It's been a little while since I updated here,.. things have been hectic but I'll update my own life later on.
What I actually want to do today is repost the blog of George Sodini. Last night, he entered an LA Fitness outside of Pittsburgh and shot the place up, killing 4 and injuring a bunch more.
I always find myself intrigued by national news when there's more to the story to be found online. George Sodini's self-addressed website is a treasure trove of information. It contains a page called "Life and Death", which leads to a blog, unlockable by entering his date of death(which of course noone knew until last night).
Entering the date brings you to this account of what was going through his mind while he planned this attack. I'm reposting this because his server is getting smashed by curious visitors and will likely be taken offline soon.
From http://georgesodini.com/20090804.htm
George Sodini
Age 48.
DOB 9/30/1960
DOD 8/4/2009
5-10, 155 lbs.
Never married.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA
Me
Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. I kept a running log that includes my thoughts and actions, after I saw this project was going to drag on.
November 5, 2008:
Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome. This particular one got so much attention and I was just curious. Not like I give a flying fcuk who won, since this exit plan was already planned. Good luck to Obama! He will be successful. The liberal media LOVES him. Amerika has chosen The Black Man. Good! In light of this I got ideas outside of Obama's plans for the economy and such. Here it is: Every black man should get a young white girl hoe to hone up on. Kinda a reverse indentured servitude thing. Long ago, many a older white male landowner had a young Negro wench girl for his desires. Bout' time tables are turned on that shit. Besides, dem young white hoez dig da bruthrs! LOL. More so than they dig the white dudes! Every daddy know when he sends his little girl to college, she be bangin a bruthr real good. I saw it. "Not my little girl", daddy says! (Yeah right!!) Black dudes have thier choice of best white hoez. You do the math, there are enough young white so all the brothers can each have one for 3 or 6 months or so.
December 22, 2008:
Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible. After joining this gym, started lifting weights and like it. Much info about weight programs, diet etc on the web. Or anything for that matter. Instead of TV I can Google for hours to relax. TV and most movies are dull.
December 24, 2008:
Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29). No shit! Over eighteen years ago. And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated. I have extra money and enjoy traveling, too, wtih my 25-30 days of vacation. LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun.
Invited to a party on Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-25 people will actually show. I like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set.
December 28, 2008:
Glad I stayed around. All these days off are great. I will shoot for Tuesday, January 6, 2009, at maybe 8:15. I have list of to-do items to make.
December 29, 2008:
Just got back from tanning, been doing this for a while. No gym today, my elbow is sore again. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne - yet 30 million women rejected me - over an 18 or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are. A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend. This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. Yet many people say I am easy to get along with, etc. Looking back, I owe nothing to desirable females who ask for anything, except for basic courtesy - usually. Looking back over everything, what bothers me most is the inability to work towards whatever change I choose.
December 30, 2008:
While driving I radio surfed to a talk show. The caller was a 30ish black man who was describing the despair in certain black communities. According to him, life is cheap there because you are going to die anyway when you get old. It is the quality of life that is important, he said. If you know the past 40 years were crappy, why live another 30 crappy years then die? His point was they engage in dangerous behavior which tends to shorten the lifespans, to die now and avoid the next 30 crappy years, using my example. The host got sarcastic and ended the call instead of trying understanding his point. Agreement wasn't necesary. I put music back on. But it was an interesting, and useful point for me to hear.
December 31, 2008:
My anger and rage is largely gone since I began lifting weights. Lifting drains me but I still have energy. Somebody else suggested running but that did not help me. I guess strenuous exercise is necesary for a man. So I just learned that now at 48. Maybe 30 years later than I would have liked. My dad never (not once) talked to me or asked about my life's details and tell me what he knew. He was just a useless sperm doner. Don't know why, find it fun talking to young kids when I visit someone. Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarase me or discourage my efferts when persuing things, esp girls early on (teen years). Useless bully. Result is I am learning basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Seems odd, but thats true. Writing all this is helping me justify my plan and to see the futility of continuing. Too embarassed to tell anyone this, at almost 50 one is expected to just know these things.
I hope it doesn't snow on Tuesday. Just thought of that. The crowd will be thin so I would postpone. Shit!
Now that I am on the topic of family and people I know, I might as well make a summary of sorts to show where things stand. This is New Years Eve I have time, no date tonight of course, so:
Honorable mention:
Tetelestai Church in Pittsburgh, PA - "Be Ye Holy, even as I have been Ye holy! Thus saith the lord thy God!", as pastor Rick Knapp would proclaim. Holy shit, religion is a waste. But this guy teaches (and convinced me) you can commit mass murder then still go to heaven. Ask him. Call him at (724) 325-2655. If no answer there, he should still live at 439 9th Street, Oakmont, PA 15139. In any case, guilt and fear kept me there 13 long years until Nov 2006. I think his crap did the most damage. Their web site: http://www.tetelestai.org.
Mum - The Central Boss. 717 Highview Road, Pgh PA 15234. Don't piss her off or she will be mad and vindictive for years. She actually thinks she's normal. Very dominant. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone in the household. A power and control thing. People outside the immediate family like her. Why are people vicious with their closest ones? She is the Boss above all other Bosses.
Michael Sodini - A Boss, my brother (Mike Sodini) 216 Horseshoe Dr, Mars PA - Always the big bully, twice the size of most others. When he bullied or harassed someone, it was the other person who "deserved it". It was always about him. Way to self absorbed, too. Still is. Used to like to embarrass guys in front of their girlfriends. Lots of other shit. Kind of guy you actually loved to hate. The biggest, most self-centered jagoff I know. He took those bullying "skills" into the business world and is doing good financially. He is a big wheel only in his mind. Most people can see thru all his manipulation. He calls only when he wants something.
Sherry - sister - More of a victim than anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We used to be close until her control of L & D caused a conflict. Never the same after.
David - neph, sis's son (girlfriend Mallory Squires). Good young guy, though.
Lisa - niece, sis's daught. Attractive, smart, emotional - all good YW qualities.
Idiots:
Andy Pulkowski - I have been in barrooms and church groups. The worst people by far are the religious types. Especially a right-wing, stiff-faced fundie like Andy. A condescending, demeaning, passive-aggresive person. Frigid, rigid, linear and totally inflexible. Being a very serious person, he cannot hide his frown-lined face. He better not try to smile; lest his face might crack. I knew children of parents who grew up in strict religious homes. Religion has a certain stink to it of guilt, shame, fear, and that moral standard that always contradicts the natural tendencies and desires of a person. Therin lies the conflict. Young person cannot experiment with things to decide on their own and establish their own parameters. So they tend to cut loose and really rebel much worse than the average young person. Ma and Pa never know what goes on. They easily BS their parents because they want to believe their little one is an angel. Andy has a young daughter Bethany Pulkowski away at college, High Point University. I saw her picture on his desk. She's your basic, attractive, young girl. Please reread my entry made on Nov 5th. That's only one thing she can do. You Andy types out there need to further strengthen your strict resolve and do more of the same thing! Because those girls were great when I recall my college years! She is someone's (or many guy's) little hoe now, I am sure.
Another point about andy. How can someone be cold, vicious, sarcastic and generally nasty ALL THE TIME and then make the claim about their church life and how good they are? Total hypocritical idiots.
That's all for now. That felt good.
Let's continue...
January 5, 2009:
Was at the gym to lift. Very crowded. Tomorrow should be good. There is a woman there that gives me a certain look every time I am there. I decided to walk over and make a comment about the crowds but she left when I finished the exercise. Better that I do not get sidetracked from tomorrow's plan anyways. Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone. Young women were brutal when I was younger, now they aren't as much, probably because they just see me just as another old man.
I see twenty something couples everywhere. I see a twenty something guy with a nice twentyish young women. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal. I cannot wait for tomorrow!
January 6, 2009:
I can do this. Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie - just going thru the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home.....My mind is screwed up anymore, I can't concentrate at work or think at all.
This log is not detailed. It is only for confidence to do this. The future holds even less than what I have today.
It is 6:40pm, about hour and a half to go. God have mercy. I wish life could be better for all and the crazy world can somehow run smoother. I wish I had answers.
Bye.
It is 8:45PM: I chickened out! Shit! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!
April 24, 2009:
Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived. First one was in November. When I began 10 years ago, that used to be a nice place to work. I understand the need to reduce staff when times sour, but this is out of proportion to the economic problems at this time. The economy is shrinking by about 4-5%. They decided not to pay Christmas bonus - for staff that amounts to about 8% of yearly pay. Well, OK. Plus no yearly "merit" raise, another 3.5%. That totals to about 11% cut. Plus two layoffs of 5% staff in each case. Do the math. I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advanage of a bad situation and kill jobs UNNECESSARILY. The second layoff people who actually did work were let go. We all need to pick up the slack so the company can cut beyond what is necesary. Wasn't going to mention it, because of all this shit, it is K&L Gates, the large law firm headquartered here in Pittsburgh. Just call it K&L Gates Corporation. Most people there are OK and I would never have a shoot 'em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far!
I predict I won't survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. RIght now, life is bearable and I can get by indefinitely. Something bad must happen. The paycheck is all I have left. The future holds nothing for me. Twenty five years of nothing fun. I never even spent one weekend with a girl in my life, even at my own place. Also unlikely to find another similar job. I guess then is when I take care of things. I don't have kids, close friends or anything. Just me here. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.
I enjoy writing these entries, I have no plans to go back and edit or even read most stuff already written. If you get bored, just click that "x" at the top, right corner of your browser. Bye.
May 4, 2009:
I was so eager to do this last year. The big problem on my mind now is that my job will end soon. One project is being transistioned to another. The other one I am solely responsible, but is being fast tracked to production. I estimate maybe a month. I am not ready for the job market. I am ok what I do, a .NET software developer. Not at the top of the class, but I do a good job. I survived two general layoffs and other little layoffs they are having but keeping quiet about. I hear things.
The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear, worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangable and a permanent part of my being. I need to realize the details of what I never accomplished in life and to be convinced the future is merely a continuation of the past - WHICH IT ALWAYS has been. I am making a list of items that will provide motivation to do the exit plan, it won't be published. I always had hope that maybe things will improve especially if I make big attempts to change my life. I made many big changes in the past two years but everything is still the same. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed - nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.
What is it like to be dead? I always think I am forgetting something, that's one reason I postponed. Similar to when you leave to get in your car to go somewhere - you hesitate with a thought: "what am I forgetting?". In this case, I cannot make a return trip!
I like to write and talk. Ironic because I haven't met anybody recently (past 30 years) who I want to be close friends with OR who want to be close friends with me. I was always open to suggestions to what I am doing wrong, no brother or father (mine are useless) or close friend to nudge me and give it bluntly yet tactfully wtf I am doing wrong. A personal coach or someone who knows what he is doing would be perfect. Money is highly secondary for a solution.
May 5, 2009:
To pull the exit plan off, it popped into my mind to just use some booze. I want to do this before I get laid off, for reasons not worth mentioning but don't seem to have the balls. After the gym, I stopped at Shop N Save and got a fifth of vodka and a small bottle of Jack Daniels. I haven't had a drink since September 1, 1988, just over 20 years. It doesn't matter now, I need to use it to take the edge off of carrying out the exit plan. I will be taking some every now and then to get used to it and see if the alcohol effects will embolden me. Weed would be fun to try again. I don't know who has any. Life is over, who cares? I just need to use common sense, can't drink and drive, etc. This idea just hit me at a point in time and I immediately acted on it. Same thing happened when I decided to go back to Pitt full time, first day was Monday, May 8, 1989, and to buy the house that closed on Friday, September 30, 1996, to name two examples I remember so well.
The list idea yesterday is working. I carry it in my wallet and add to it. I am feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My life's dilema.
May 6, 2009:
I started the JD. About one ounce with some tea to get me started. No big deal.
May 7, 2009:
Went to the gym and did mostly cardio. My heart rate was 117 just from walking on the treadmill at 3.4. This should be done a few times a week for maybe 15 mins or so to keep the heart active. I sprinted a few times to push the limits.
May 18, 2009:
I actually had a date today. It was with a woman I met on the bus in March. We got together at Two PPG Place for lunch. The last date for me was May 1, 2008. Women just don't like me. There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive. I am looking at The List I made from my May 4th idea. I forgot about that for several days. That tells me where I stand. These problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had the ability to change ourselves - I guess that is incorrect. Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else.
I no longer have any expectations of myself. I have no options because I cannot work toward and achieve even the smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be able to work towards what I want in my life. I believe I am deserve that. I read recently it is called "self efficacy", but who knows. Is that more psychobable?
May 25, 2009:
I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older woman there, out of the blue, asked if I liked high school. Then quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Intersting why she would ask that. But, thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me.
May 29, 2009:
Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much.
June 2, 2009:
Some people I was talking with believed I date a lot and get around with women. They think this because I showed an email I got from a hot woman to the department gossip, but it didn't work out. All this is funny. Actually, I haven't had sex since I was 29 years old, 19 years ago. That's true.
June 5, 2009:
I was reading several posts on different forums and it seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for nada, bitches! Bye.
July 4, 2009:
Wow, already late evening. I stayed in all day. Can't believe there was NOTHING to do today. No parties or picnics. WTF. No need to leave now.
July 20, 2009:
Been a long time since last write. Everything still sucks. But I got a promotion and a raise, even in this shitty Obama ecomomy. No more grunt programming. Go figure! New boss is great. He tactfully says when you did something wrong or complements on good things. Never confused with him. But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is. Every person just wants to be fucking nice and say nice things to me. Flattery. Oh yeah, I am sure you can get a date anytime. You look good, etc. Pussies.
Awwww, wait. I can just start being self-righteous and say I live a good, clean life. I am holy, that's all Rick Knapp stuff. Hear that you mother fucker: I Am Just Good!
July 23, 2009:
Wow!!
I just looked out my front window and saw a beautiful college-age girl leave Bob Fox's house, across the street. I guess he got a good lay today. College girls are hoez. I masturbate. Frequently. He is about 45 years old. She was a long haired, hot little hottie with a beautiful bod. I masturbate. Frequently. Some were simply meant to walk a lonely path in life. I don't usually look out, but just happened to notice. Holy fuck. I have masturbated since age 13. Thanks, mum and brother (by blood alone). And dad, old man, for TOTALLY ignoring me through the years. All of you DEEPLY helped me be this way.
I wish I can go back to 1975 and fix things. Awe, that wont work, big BULLY BROTHER would assert his bull shit. He was twice my size. He never messed with guys bigger than 5'10, or so. He is a PUSSY at heart. Remember, Michael is my brother (we have common parents, that's all) is still a BOSS. Repetition only for emphasis: HE IS ONLY A BULLY, even at 50ish! Never forget that! Because he exudes confidence. People believe bull shit if delivered WITH CONFIDENCE. Get it??
On the same thought, things occured to me today. Michael NEVER had an attractive girlfriend. Debbie, Barb, Kim, ... then I lost track. Not to say I had any (execpt Pam, who was about a 7.25). He married a Chinese-descent, petite woman with no body, no ass, no chest and no personality. She never laughs or smiles, neither does he. But she is highly intelligent and an excellent cook. I can testify to that! She home bakes her own DELICIOUS wheat bread! But who cares about that type of small bull crap? Mike even mentioned when we were visiting dad that "she's not very attractive".
I don't know where I am going with this. I am getting tired, feels good to write and get it all out.
On still another thought, I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste.
Bye, for today.
August 2, 2009:
The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many other areas. Everthing stays the same regardless of the effert I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for about the past 30 years, I have not
August 3, 2009:
I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day.
Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works.
Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.
I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.
Also, any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarased, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others.
Miscellaneous:
1. Probably 99% of the people who know me well don't even think I was this crazy. Told by at least 100 girls/women over the years I was a "nice guy". Not kidding.
2. Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby in early 1991. Haven't seen her since she was about four months into it. I knew her sister, Chris, from high school.
3. Net worth slightly more than $250K, (after all debt) as of end of 2008.
4. Death Lives!
© 2009 George Sodini
This should not be taken off the web. It is obviously my view and opinion.
Reproduce this as you wish, in its entirity.
**Copy this to usenet/newsgroups where my voice will speak forever!**
Don't modify it, you can correct my spelling errors, I used WordPad.
Unless the names are required legally to be blotted out, then fine. Thanks.
posted 8:35:14 PM on 7/9/2009
Before I start, let me say that in NO WAY do I claim to be any kind of photographer. My "equipment" consists of a 5 or 6 year old Nikon point-and-shoot, a $20 tripod I probably got from Wal-Mart, and some open source imaging software.
Now recently, I got interested in HDR images. I had dabbled in it a while back, but never felt like purchasing a license for Photomatix so I didn't really stick with it. The other day I discovered the free tool Picturenaut, and since then I've been playing around with it a bit.
I really don't expect to be producing any masterpieces, but tonight I did generate the first image that is clearly enhanced through use of these HDR tools. Now keep in mind this was just a random shot I grabbed through my window last night.. it's not particularly of anything.
I started with 3 originals, taken using my cameras basic Auto Bracketing function.


After a few minutes in Picturenaut and Gimp, I came up with the final image, which I believe shows much better color and lighting. Mission accomplished!
If the difference between the first and final images is hard to see on this page, right click and open them up in new tabs. I should also point out that the originals are in 5mp so there's an astounding difference between the full sized images.
posted 8:15:21 AM on 6/26/2009
It's been a few days since I've written anything, but I'm still here. Truth is the past few days have been filled with unpacking boxes and setting up furniture.. nothing too exciting.
But, I couldn't let the morning go by without commenting on yesterday's death of Michael Jackson.
While Jackson's life was filled with controversy, one can't deny the impact he made on not only pop music, but the entire musical world. I suppose the silver lining here is that Jackson likely wouldn't have created anything new that set the world on fire.. so his contributions to the world were complete.
Still I can't help but be intrigued with what went on in his life. He was truly one of the most bizarre people ever in the spotlight, and I wonder what we'll start to hear about him now that he's gone. The next couple weeks should be interesting.
posted 11:46:30 AM on 6/22/2009

Many many years ago, the computer world collectively discovered that using trackballs to detect movement in a mouse was a terrible idea. Apparently, Apple didn't get this memo, and decided to equip their only 2 button mouse not with a scrollwheel, but with a ball in order to add the uncommon and unnecessary function of scrolling left and right.
The downside, of course, is that these balls easily pick up dirt, eventually paralyzing it's movement completely. Back in the day, mice always had an easy way to access the wheels under the ball, but in true apple fashion, the Mighty Mouse is designed to be thrown away when it becomes dirty.
This morning, I decided to look into the feasibility of cleaning it out, and after a quick Google search, located a gallery of images that helped me out.
The process is pretty straightforward. Snap out the bottom most ring, and then pry out the innards of the mouse. Another inner ring is glued in, and will probably crack when you pry it out. Under the guts of the mouse you will unhook 2 ribbon cables and remove 3 Philips screws to remove the ball assembly. Pop the ball out of it's cradle and access the 4 individual wheels underneath. These are where the dirt collects, so clean them off, put them back and pop everything back together.
Because you probably broke the inner plastic ring, you will need to find a way to reattach it.. I was in a pinch so I opted for some Scotch tape around the base of the mouse. It looks ugly but at least I can scroll up and down!
posted 12:21:01 AM on 6/22/2009
This weekend I made the big push to get all moved in to the house, and while it was largely successful, it didn't go without some difficulties.
My U-Haul reservation was for Saturday, and I had requested a 10' box truck. Unfortunately, the weather forecast was bleak, calling for rain and thunderstorms throughout the day. Because of this, I started on Friday night.. carrying whatever I could downstairs into my garage. The plan was that I could back the truck up to the garage and speed up the loading process dramatically, even in the rain.
I moved down about a roomful of stuff which I thought was pretty good, and went to sleep about 3am. The next day, I prepared for the move, and at 4pm I picked up my truck. After some difficulty with the check-out process due to uninformed employees, I was off.
The move itself was a tough, drawn out process. I overestimated the abilities of my three helpers.. my dad, mom, and girlfriend. They were all incredible and very patient with the difficulty of what we were tackling, but when it comes down to it, they just aren't in as good shape as I am.
During the day my dad decided to drive down to a local pizza shop to grab lunch, and unfortunately backed into a pole as he left, denting his driver's side door and shattering the window. I immediately felt responsible, and still do, but everyone assured me it wasn't my fault.
Shortly after that set back, we ran over to the house with the first truckload. Once my girlfriend and I convinced a rude neighbor to remove their car from the back alley(it was parked in such a way as to completely block access), we easily unloaded everything into the basement.
As the rain started again, we headed back to the apartment, where we loaded up the last of the large items and sped them over to the house.
So here I am, I'm at the house, my stuff is at the house, and I'm staring at the huge task of getting settled in. It may take weeks, or months,.. and I can't even really start until I get the apartment cleaned up and ready for the next tenants. I'm hoping to recover as much of my security deposit as possible. We'll see how that goes.
posted 12:04:05 PM on 6/18/2009
People love cars, myself included. But for many of us, that love transcends good taste and quickly becomes downright annoying to others who have to witness it.
Here is my list of the most misplaced, tacky, and otherwise useless fads that have cropped up in the past few years.
GTR Badges
Many of the most annoying auto trends stem from an identity crises. Certain vehicles have iconic features that people, either intentionally or completely unaware, choose to mimic on their own vehicles.
The first example of this in the list is the GTR Badge. This comes from the Skyline GTR, a vehicle never sold in the US until it's latest iteration last year. Aside from the source vehicle being itself overhyped(they have tons of potential if you have wells of money to dump into it- otherwise they are heavy and underpowered) these badges just don't make sense. Most often you will find these on (big surprise) older Honda Civics with terrible peeling paint, steel wheels(bonus: an unmatched pair of rims in the front or back), and a driver who looks and acts as if he's constantly late for his shift at the local McDonalds.
The popularity of these badges exploded once knock offs appeared on the shelves of Pep Boys auto stores, and for a year or two you could barely turn your head without seeing one. Luckily for us, this fad seems to have passed: likely only because those mid-90's Civics are now laying dormant in junk yards and impound lots.
Cobra Eyes
Another fad that died out with those junky Civics is the "cobra eyes". These were those LED windshield washer nozzles. Aside from being ugly and distracting to other drivers, many of these were illegal- in most places you cannot have forward facing red or blue lights on a civilian vehicle.
For the most part these have gone the way of the Dodo, but I see one every few weeks or so, and they're just as annoying as they ever were.
Half Assed Customizations
Sometimes we'd love to have a show or race car, but that kind of commitment just isn't in our budget. Most of us accept that and go on with our lives, but a special breed of douchebag trudges on, planning to build that car one peice at a time as he can afford it, while still driving it on a daily basis.
Because of that, you will see these cars roaming the streets with unpainted body kits, incomplete sets of rims, giant ill-fitting wings, and huge mufflers(often tilted as if the installer didn't know what they were doing, though the look is intentional).
These cars are certainly eyesores, but what is truly aggravating about this is that the drivers assume that once that first mod is bolted onto the car, that they are getting the benefit or notoriety that they would with ALL of the mods. This leads to these idiots trying to race anyone who glances at them at a red light, posting pictures of their ugly cars all over the internet, and NEVER finishing the process of making a decent looking or well performing car.
Fake Buick Fender Vents
Last but not least is today's biggest offender. By now, you MUST have seen these "vents" tacked onto everything from BMW's to Ford Taurus'.
Here's a hint to anyone putting these things on your cars... they're an icon of BUICK cars. We're not idiots. We know your Dodge is not a Buick, we know your Subaru is not a Buick, and for the love of God, why would you want anyone to think your BMW or Mercedes is a BUICK? I mean, really... a Buick.
At least the guys with the GTR badges are trying to mimic a somewhat exclusive vehicle.
posted 1:22:31 PM on 6/16/2009
Yesterday went great. I finished pulling the rest of the carpet tacks from the living room, and this time I fared a bit better by putting down a piece of carpet to sit on while I worked.
After that, I cleaned up all the padding bits and as much dust as possible. Tonight I will give everything a good cleaning and get all the carpet and padding rolls out for the trash.. it's getting incredibly exciting to know I'll see the downstairs all but completed soon.
Oh,.. I also took a look at the fridge last night. Taking advice from online research, I decided to check the condensing coils which reside in the freezer. Sure enough they were frozen. I unplugged the fridge and left them exposed for them to thaw out. Hopefully after putting the fridge back together tonight, all will be well.
posted 10:53:01 AM on 6/15/2009
This weekend the goal was to tear up the carpeting in the living and dining rooms, and to get started painting the bedrooms.
Turns out it takes way longer to pull up carpets than I anticipated. Over the course of a LONG Saturday and an equally long Sunday, my girlfriend and I got the carpet up from both rooms, though there are still some tacks left in the living room which I will have up tonight.
The actual work is pretty straightforward: find a loose corner of carpet and start pulling. Make sure you're wearing gloves because you might pull up some of the tacks with the carpet.. just be careful as you work around the edges. Rather than pulling up all the carpet in one piece, use a utility blade to cut it into manageable strips.. 4-5 feet wide. Once it's up, roll it up and tape it so it can be disposed of easily.
Under the carpet you will find the padding, which is just foam that rips up easily. The final step is to remove the carpet tacks. This is where you will devote most of your time. Use needle nose pliers, a pry bar, and a hammer to remove each and every tack you can find. In my case, there was also a nail-laden border along the edges of the floor that we pried up using the aforementioned pry bar. I'm not a pro so I have no idea if this is a common way of installing carpet or not.
Tonight the plan is to finish pulling the carpet tacks, clean up that whole mess, and to investigate my fridge, which is not getting very cold. From the research I've done, it seems to need some cleaning underneath or the defrosting mechanism is frozen.
posted 9:58:26 AM on 6/12/2009
After much procrastination, today is the day that the final analog television transmissions will be broadcast in the US. It's also the first day I will enjoy listening to news reports about all the elderly people who've refused to pay attention to the numerous warnings broadcast over the past year or so.
I could go on to explain what this means, why we're doing it, and all that, but since you're reading this on an obscure blog that you dug up from the bowels of the internet, I'm assuming you already know.
What I will discuss, however, is the part of this process that has confused me. With all the bombardment of PSA's that we've been getting lately, the powers that be never seemed to explain a couple things really well.
First of all,.. never once did I hear them make light of the fact that all TVs purchased in the last 2 years or so are ALREADY equipped with digital tuners.
Second, they've talked a lot how a fuzzy analog signal might translate to an unwatchable digital one, but never mentioned that if you do manage to pick up a channel, that the picture quality is essentially perfect. There's no grey area when it comes to a digital signal. It's either on or off. In my case, I pick up far more digital channels than I did analog ones. In fact, digital tv was one of the catalysts that prompted me to ditch my expensive cable service a few months back. I've never looked back and never regretted it for a moment.
So,.. rest in peace analog. You've been a good friend, but it's time for us to move on to better things.
posted 8:57:38 AM on 6/12/2009
One of the things about buying a used house, no matter how move in ready it is, is that it comes with a lot of minor annoyances.
One such annoyance for me was the direction of the refrigerator door. You see, my kitchen is very narrow.. what is commonly referred to as a galley kitchen. The door was setup to open into the main part of the room, the direction that people would most often be approaching it from. In order to open the fridge, you would have to walk past it, open the door, and close the door before you could pass it to leave again. A traffic nightmare waiting to happen.

So,.. I figured before I move in, I should switch the door to the other side. I started by removing the cap on the top of the fridge which covers the door bracket. Underneath I found 2 bolts.. unfortunate since I did not have wrenches or a socket set with me. However, stubborn as I am, I decided to continue tackling the job with the 2 tools I had: a cordless drill and a pair of adjustable pliers.
Moving downward, I popped off all the white caps that hide holes on the opposite side of the fridge, and used a utility knife to pop out small white screw covers on the top and bottom of both door handles. Each had 2 Phillips head screws which were removed and replaced on the other side of the door.
Between the freezer and fridge door, another bracket was attached with 3 screws. 2 of them were difficult to reach with the drill, but moving the doors around made it possible to get them out. Afterwards, I used the pliers to (slowly) remove the 2 bolts on the top bracket, and I was able to lift both doors up, off and out of the way.
The final bracket, on the bottom of the fridge, was also attached with 2 bolts. Again, using the adjustable pliers, I removed this and replaced it loosely on the opposite side. Reversing order of how everything came apart, I got both doors reattached on the opposite side.. however the freezer door could not close correctly due to the position of the top bracket. Being that it was nearing 11pm, I gave up for the night and will make the final adjustments tonight or tomorrow.
Overall this was a tedious project that I HIGHLY recommend having proper tools for. Without having to use adjustable pliers, I'm sure I could have saved at least 20 minutes. Tonight I am much better prepared as I have my entire collection of hand tools(sans wrenches) in my car ready to take to the house after work.
In addition to the attempted door flip, I spackled over some settlement cracks in each of my bedrooms. A few of the cracks had large chunks to be filled, so I wanted to make sure the spackle would have plenty of time(over a day) to dry. Normally it would only take 20-30 minutes or so. Nothing too difficult here.. I'm using 1 step, fast drying spackle that doesnt require any sanding or further prep before painting.
Finally, I took up the carpet that covered half of the kitchen, revealing the rest of the parquet floor which is in very good shape. The carpet was so old that the bottom was disintegrating, leaving a coating of dust on the floor as I removed it.
Well that's it on the house for last night. I realize this is actually the first post I'm ever making on the house, but that has more to do with the timing of getting this site up than anything else. I will soon be backfilling posts about the buying process and the work I've accomplished up till now, so hang tight.
posted 2:17:43 PM on 6/11/2009
Hey everyone! As you can see, brabbler.com is back.
Maybe back isn't the right word, though, since I never really used this for much anyway. In either case, I decided to launch an actual site to share my thoughts, projects, whatever, with the world.
Now, don't worry.. I'm not going to post every mundane detail of my life on here(that's what twitter is for, right?). Rather, I plan to use this as an outlet when I truly have something interesting to talk about.
I hope you'll bookmark or subscribe to the RSS and check back now and then for how to's, insight on my life, and maybe even just some great links that I'll share with everyone.
-Eric